Our Blog: Nourishing Relationships

Long Lasting Love

Deposits in the Kindness Bank

Witnessing the Loss of a Parent

A good friend just buried his father; his mother is alive and well.

For the past year or so, my friend was close to his mother and father as his father suffered increasingly with dementia. Ultimately, this was fatal.old couple

He watched his father change, as he lost much of the personality that had endeared him to his family over the years. And he saw how hard this was on his mother. The person to whom she had been married for many years was going away.

The stress on the family was enormous.

Stages of a Marriage

My observation, having been married to the same person almost 40 years, is that marriages have their stages. Like the stages of maturation in a child.

Stage 1 is the honeymoon stage. No children, lots of time to be with one another and with friends. The excitement of, perhaps, new jobs, new cities, new friends, new experiences. Whatever it may be.

Stage 2 is the age of children and jobs. Having a child changes everything. Along with the joy comes responsibility and time commitments and crises. And, for many people, this is often the most demanding time for building a career.

Stage 3 is the age of grandchildren and growing old together. Grandchildren can be a source of enormous joy. But growing old obviously brings its challenges. In my friend’s case, one of these challenges was dealing with dementia and the loss of a partner. This can be trying.

Make Your Deposits

My friend has passed along to us good life advice from his experience with his parents. Good life advice, as well as good financelderly-coupleial advice, is to make regular deposits to the savings account and to the bank of kindness. Build up a healthy kindness account.

Because there may come a time when you need to draw down on the kindness account. Life with a partner may become more difficult and more challenging.

If there aren’t enough kindness deposits, enough money in the goodwill bank, you may become emotionally depleted and have a hard time meeting all the bills.

A Plug for Families Connect

The Families Connect application is a tool for keeping friends and families together in a user-defined network. The application provides a way to share memories with those who matter most. You can learn more and sign up at the Families Connect Home Page.

Please give it a try. It may help fill up that kindness account.

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